Hall of Fame, Me? . . . Yeah, Me!

Last Saturday was a very good day for me. Started off with a visit to Topeka’s Farmers Market then a nice motorcycle ride. Along the way I stopped to see if another biker, who was stopped by the side of the road needed help. He didn’t, but I recognized the riders as my cousin Tom and his wife, Debbie. They invited me to lunch at Lake Perry. Home for a nap then on to Topeka Civic Theatre and Academy, for the annual awards night, where I was inducted into the Hall of Fame. I consider it quite an honor!

But, as they say in the infomercials, “Wait, there’s more!” After the program, as I was meeting friends and receiving congratulations, I saw Jeff Kready. Jeff and I were in To Kill A Mockingbird in 1995. He played Jem to my Atticus. He grew up to be a professional actor appearing in Broadway shows. Jeff hugged me and congratulated me and then said the most amazing thing. He told me that he had learned so much about acting from watching me! Me! Imagine.

I may never be able to put my hat on again!

As Soon as I figure out how, I will add “Member of Topeka Civic Theatre’s Hall of Fame,” and “Acting coach to the stars,” to my resume. Yeah, right!

Other good news: You may remember my post about Sheriff Richard Barta’s classy apology. I emailed him thanking him for the good example and included a link to the posts. I got a very kind email back, inviting me to meet him in person. I will visit him tomorrow.

Not bad, huh?

True Apology: A Class Act

A story in this mornings’s Topeka Capitol Journal started me thinking about apology. In my mediation and conflict resolution training, I talk about apology a lot, and one of my favorite quotes is “A true apology involves an exchange of power and shame.”( I’m sorry I have been unable to find who said it, if you know please let me know.) Because of this, it is very difficult for an insecure person to apologize. A true apology makes you vulnerable.

A few months ago, Virgil Peck, a member of the Kansas House of Representatives suggested, he insists in jest, that we should shoot “illegal aliens” from helicopters like we do wild hogs. Under pressure from his party he issued this “apology”: “My statements yesterday were regrettable. Please accept my apology.” Does that sound like an apology to you?

But some public figures are capable of a true apology, and that brings us back to the story in today’s Capitol Journal. Shawnee County Sheriff Dick Barta had publicly criticized the Shawnee County Commission for cutting his budget. Here is his apology:

“Last night I got around to reading the article in the Cap Journal — it caused me a sleepless night. Particularly the headline that states Sheriff: Public Safety Not a Priority For County.  While it’s okay to express my dissatisfaction and frustration in the privacy of the 4 walls in my office (Lord knows I do that enough), to vent my opinion to the media was wrong — nothing good comes from this.

“My actions lacked discipline, were unprofessional and clearly violated our Mission Statement. For this I apologize to you, the citizens and the Commissioners.  (As a 65 year-old, you would think I would know better).”

Now that, my friends, is an apology! I was so impressed, I made it the topic of the blog you are reading and also made a brief video on You Tube.

Thank you, Sheriff Barta for suggesting today’s blog topic and for an example of a true apology I can use in future mediation and conflict resolution trainings.

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More on stories

A couple of weeks ago I posted about how important and powerful stories are, and suggested the story spine as a way to build your story. Today I’d like to talk about another story development exercise, but to do so, I want to try out some new technology. I want to see if my “tell me who you are, and get a freebie” technique works. So, let’s help each other. Go to my website, click on the “Color/Advance freebie,” and you will receive a pdf with a very useful exercise you can use to develop your story. I will find out if my new toy works, and I’ll have your name and address in case I decide to send you some mail. Oh, and if you don’t want my mail, just say so. I hate spam as much as you do.

Improv Q & A

I recently received an email from Paul Z Jackson, President of the Applied Improvisation Network. In it he sets out in Q & A format,a succinct description of what improv based training is all about. For your information, I’m reprinting it here:

Paul Z Jackson Interview

I was interviewed by a magazine journalist recently. Here are her questions, along with my (slightly edited) answers. What’s the one key improv skill which could help anyone perform better at work? The key improv skill is called ‘yes…and’, which means accepting and building. The accepting part depends on listening carefully so you are clear what’s being offered. Then – assuming you choose to accept (‘Yes’) – you build on that offer (‘And’), so that all the people in the conversation are constructing something useful together. How does improv help you switch off the feeling of being self-conscious and help you access your creative self? What can you do to make this happen in everyday situations? Improv helps you access your creativity by removing a lot of the fear of being wrong. You get more confident to have a go, and see your contribution as a low-risk experiment. A good tip for everyday is to listen for what you can agree with in what others are saying, and respond positively by building on those parts of the conversation. Conversation is turn-taking, and you can choose how to play your turns. How is improv important in neutralising fear/anxiety? What tricks can you use to mimic that in a work situation? Improv is not really about tricks or even removing feelings of self-consciousness. It’s about applying some of the on-stage skills used so brilliantly by performers in shows like ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’ to everyday situations in which we interact with other people. Thank  you Paul!

Success and Responsibility

Just a couple of things on my mind this morning. Let’s take them in chronological order:

First the community building excercise for the incoming MPH students at The University of Kansas Medical Center was an unqualified success! At the end of the session, I heard one student remark, “I have been on campus for three months, and this is the first time I feel like I belong here.” Of course, in addition to accomplishing our goal of creating a sense of community, we all had fun. Yours truly most of all.

Sunday was my son Glenn’s birthday celebration, and as is our custom, the entire family went out to eat at the restaurant of his choosing. Our server was a very pleasant young woman, but when the food arrived, one order was missing. When I called it to her attention, she said, “My fault, I failed to put it in. I will get it in right away.” Wow! “My fault, I failed to put it in!” Not, “The kitchen messed up your order,” or “Someone else must have picked it up.” “My fault.” I was very impressed.

At laugh2learn, we include accepting and celebrating failure as an essential part of being successful. Acknowledging a mistake and taking responsibility for it, goes hand in hand with accepting failure. I was very impressed with our server, and although the service was less than perfect she earned a healthy tip.

Did The Ancient Hebrews Have Improv Training

This morning  at Grace Cathedral the lesson from the Hebrew Scriptures was about Moses and Pharaoh’s Daughter. I have recorded a little video on You Tube in case you would rather listen to than read the story. 

According the the Hebrew Scripture, when the Hebrews in Egypt started to become too powerful, Pharaoh ordered the midwives to kill all of the male children born to the Hebrew women. The midwives wouldn’t do it. When Pharaoh discovered that there were many male children among he Hebrews he called the midwives to ask why. They responded that the Hebrew women were so strong and healthy that by the time a midwife could get to them, the baby was already born.

Still concerned with the proliferation of male Hebrews, Pharaoh ordered that all the male children born to Hebrew women should be thrown into the Nile. When Moses was born, his mother built a little basket of papyrus and put the baby in it and hid it in some reeds in the river. She sent her daughter to watch and see what happened. It just so happened that Pharaoh’s daughter went to bathe at that very spot in the river. (Think Moses’ mother didn’t know that?) When Pharoah’s daughter saw the baby in the basket, she decided to keep it as her own.

Seeing this, Moses’ sister ran to the Egyptian Princess and offered to find a nurse for the baby. When the Princess assented, Moses sister ran and got her mother to be the nurse.

Pretty clever. Now, not only did Moses’ mother save her child’s life, she got to raise him and, got paid to do so.

After service a friend and I were talking about the story and he remarked on how often in the stories in the Hebrew Scripture people seem to be able to think on their feet quickly. In this story the Midwive’s  quick thinking saved them from Pharaoh’s wrath, and Moses’ sisters quick thinking allowd Moses’ mother to raise her own child.

It made me wonder if the Hebrews had some improv training. One of the goals of improv training is to help you learn to think quickly on your feet. If you would like to learn how to react quickly, improv training is available, among other places, at Laugh2Learn. And remember if  you don’t get what you want from a Laugh2Learn training, it’s free.

Wisdom from Dolly

This morning I got a tweet with a quote from Dolly Parton. She said, “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” Now I don’t know what Ms. Parton had in mind as to what is rainbow and what is rain, but it reminded me of something I’ve been teaching in my classes for as long as I remember. I made a You Tube Video of it, and I hope you enjoy it. It’s a bit more serious than my last video. Please let me know what you think.

On an entirely different topic, tomorrow is a big day for me. I am going to conduct improv exercises to develop a sense of community in the incoming class of Master of Public Health Students at the University of Kansas School of Medicine. I’m sure that if it’s successful, you’ll read about it here. If not, well you may read about it here anyway, because as I have said before, it’s healthy to celebrate failure.

Video Blogging

This morning at church, my good friend Tom Herrington, of Herrington Photography, suggested that I need video on my blog. Well, I like Tom, and value his opinion, so I picked his brain for a few minutes, and came home and made my first video blog. So please, check it out and tell me what you think.

What’s Your Story?

Almost everyone agrees that stories are important. For one thing they are memorable, and they are the most ancient form of communication. Everyone has a story, but can everyone tell it successfully? Can you?

At Laugh2learn, we have developed several tools to help you both develop your story and your storytelling skills.

If you are going to steal, steal from the best, and  Katt Koppett’s wonderful book, Training to Imagine has a wonderful tool for story development. She suggests that a successful story will follow the story spine:

STORY SPINE          

Once upon a time…

Everyday…

But one day…

Because of that…

Because of that…

.

.

.

Until finally…

Ever since then…

(And the moral of the story is…optional)

Katt offers this example:

Example

Once upon a time, in the same city, there were two prominent families who hated each other.

Everyday the families feuded, fought, and killed each other’s members

But one day, the son of one of the families crashed  the birthday party of the other’s daughter.

Because of that the son and daughter fell in love.

Because of that they secretly married.

Because of that the son wanted the killing to stop.

Because of that he stepped into the middle of a fight and inadvertently caused the death of his best friend.

Because of that, in agony and rage, he killed the killer, his wife’s cousin.

Because of that, he was banished.

Because of that the lovers needed to employ a complicated plan to be reunited.

Because the plan was complicated, communication broke down.

Because the message didn’t get to him the son didn’t realize his wife was only faking her death when he found her in the family tomb.

Because of that he killed himself.

Until finally, the daughter awoke to find her husband dead and she killed herself, just before the members of both families entered he tomb to find their children dead.

And ever since then, both families have stopped the nonsensical war between them.

And the moral of the story is feuds are stupid.

Now, can you begin to think of your story in terms of the story spine? What was “every day?” What was the signal event that started you down the path you want to talk about?

Once you have developed your story, you will want to begin to improve your storytelling skills. At Laugh2Learn, we have several exercises that will help. That will be the subject of tomorrow’s post.

Stay tuned.

Communication

Friday afternoon a tree fell in our back yard taking out power, and our bundled tv/modem/telephone cable. Naturally we started calling service providers. The power company was out in minutes, and we were fortunate to find an electrician who would come out in short order. The cable company was another matter. Strange that a company with “communication” as a part of its name is so poor at it. (I’m not angry enough to put the name of the company in this post.) Here’s what happened:

1. I got an answering machine and went through a very extensive menu which didn’t include, “press 5 if  a tree has removed the cable from your house.”
2. I chose an option, and learned that my wait-time would be approximately one minute! Yay! About five minutes and several annoying commercials for their service later, I got an announcement “We are experiencing unusually heavy number of calls. You may want to hang up and call back later.”
3. Back to the bad music and the commercials, and most annoyingly a suggestion that I could probably get my problem solved if I would just log onto their website! (I would if I could, jerk!)
4. 20 minutes later I spoke to an actual person, who wanted to know the last four of my Social Security Number before he would tell me that someone would be out soon. He hung up.
5. Saturday, I wanted to leave the house and decided to call and find out if I had to be present when they came to hook up the cable. Repeat 1 through 4 except before hanging up the person explained that it would be Monday before they came to reconnect the service. When I asked why so long, she said, there were a lot of people who have phone service with us and we have to serve them first.

 “I have phone service with you.” I shouted.

“Oh,” she asked, is it working?”

“No Ma’m, the line in on the ground, under a tree.”

Well long story short, because I had phone service with them I was placed on their priority list, and a very professional technician came and re-attached the cable. But It got me to thinking about communication, and lessons learned from this experience. At Laugh2Learn we have several exercises to help improve communication skills but we don’t list a bunch of rules. But here are some rules to think about based on my experience with the cable company:

1. Be present. You are a person and not a machine, so you are already ahead in this department. But you can be really present and listen.
2. Be honest. If you can’t deal with a co-worker or customer’s issues right away, give a realistic time frame. And keep it.
3. When someone is angry with you is not a good time to tell them how good you are. If you want them to think you are good, deal with their problem.
4. If you want all of your employees to be good communicators, call Laugh2Learn. I promise you will speak to a real person!