I’m sure that both of my regular readers know I’m a big fan of the pun, and several weeks ago I started a series of pun based shaggy dog stories. I called it a pun a day, or something like that. If anyone liked it, they didn’t say so, and I discontinued it. But last week, Mike Hall, of the Topeka Capitol Journal published a column filled with one line puns. I loved them. All of them, and for your edification, I’m posting them here along with a link (above) to Mr. Hall’s column.

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

■ I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

■ To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

■ When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

■ A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

■ When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

■ The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

■ The batteries were given out free of charge.

■ A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

■ A will is a dead giveaway.

■ If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

■ With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

■ Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

■ You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

■ Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

■ A boiled egg is hard to beat.

■ When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

■ Police were called to a day care where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

■ If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

■ A bicycle can’t stand alone. It is two tired.

■ In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

■ When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

■ The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

And for good measure, here are a couple I’d like to add:

  • Protect your right to bare arms. Wear a sleeveless blouse.
  • Corduroy pillows: They’re making head lines.

Oh my yes!


1 Comment

  1. Precinct House toilet stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

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