What about my cute?

Warning: This post contains a rant!

“Your cute.” Believe it or not someone actually sent me that text message. I don’t remember who, but I seem to remember it was someone I thought was reasonably intelligent and well-educated. Why, oh why, oh why, can people not master the simple rules of use of the apostrophe? Well ok, they’re (not there or their) they’re not all that simple. But, I think there are a few simple rules that will cover 90% of the misuse.

To wit:

  • All contractions require an apostrophe. “It is”, becomes “It’s”; “Who is” becomes “who’s”
  • All possessive nouns require an apostrophe. “Marvin’s book”, “The book’s title”
  • Here is the hard one: possessive pronouns never use an apostrophe. Never! “Whose book is this?” “The dog obeyed its master.”
  • Plural nouns never use an apostrophe, unless they’re possessive. (see below) “I bought five books.” “All dogs bark.” (Well I know that’s not true, but at least it doesn’t abuse the apostrophe.)
  • Finally, avoid “ss” or “s’s”. “All five sailors’ clothes were wet.” The books’ covers were all alike.”

There you have it five simple rules.

OK here’s a quiz for you.

Correct answer below.

Perhaps we should just avoid the whole thing and just say ur right. Come to think of it “ur right ur car is neat and I like ur style,” would take care of one of the problems, but we still have “it’s its” to worry about.

The first and last sentences in the quiz have no apostrophe errors. Not sure but what there should be a comma somewhere in number one, but that’s for someone else to rant about. I’m the apostrophe guy.

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